i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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