Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
The feeling are messing with the penis
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I think I just sharted jello shots
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