I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize