maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
how does that bad decision feel?
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
