it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize
