That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I love you.
Bad choice
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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