Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
