apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
