I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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