It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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