How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
