yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Randomize