His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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