you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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