Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
