So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
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