I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
