Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
