before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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