My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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