the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
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