This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
