i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
we made out on top of his cat.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Randomize
