So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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