The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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