haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
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