Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize