i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
