he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
