What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
