I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
