I accidentally had phone sex last night
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
