ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
