It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
