Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
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