Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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