the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
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