They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
you win again, gameday.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
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