So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
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