This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
