Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
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Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
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Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
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