Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
