god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
