Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
