i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Did I show you my penis last night?
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
