You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Randomize
