I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
