You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
