I have demons in me.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Randomize
