They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Church boner. Awkwardddd
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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