Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
i think i scared a bird with my dick
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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