OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Randomize
