I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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