when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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