My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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