rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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