I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
