you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
