my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Randomize
