They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
We left an ass print on the piano.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
