just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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