and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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