she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
We named our party play list daddy issues
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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