it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Randomize