He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
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